My dear friends, I have a sweet secret to reveal. Totally my style, to hide away from the rest of the world, just to deal with some stuff alone. Well, sometimes. Since I am not in the mood for writing any letters, I will just use this blog. And yes, now I will reveal this secret in totally overdone theatrical style. Just behold! Today, on the 20th of October 2006, I was given a title...
Univerzitetna diplomirana dramaturginja
BA in Theatre, Radio, Film and Television: Dramaturgy
My thesis was rewarded grade 10, excellent, the highest possible grade a student can gain at the University of Ljubljana. So now, dear friends, you can congratulate me... finally, right?
Finally, it all went very quickly. Within two weeks; only a week ago I was given the date of my graduation exam. Then it became frustrating, the paper work, design, printing of the thesis and all. Nevertheless, now it is done. Done forever! Well, my private life still sucks by all means, but at least I have passed my graduation with honours...
I am actually the very first, beware, the very first Slovenian dramaturg who wrote ''only'' a theatre play for BA Thesis. A theatre play and a dramaturgical explanation, to be precise. I really wanted to write a theatre play for my final thesis. At least something useful I managed to do: who the fuck wants to deal with that boring theory all the time? Can one put some boring theory on stage, can one make a decent whole-evening entertainment for people out of a plain theory? Nope! So I have been writing a bit longer. Today, I was told that it is perhaps better to write longer: then, better thesis is completed. Good for gaining some further scholarships this highest grade could be. And as two of my total three mentors have also said: as a playwright, I had successfully proved Slovenian dramaturgs could be... creative. I am among those who started to pull the walls down. The old and rotten walls of prejudices; the prejudices that a Slovenian dramaturg only reads other plays, only reads and writes... theory. Yet, the revolution is about to happen! Dramaturg can be and has to be creative artist! Prekleto!
However... no matter how proud I have been at the moments of my graduation exam... there has this huge question appeared. What to do now, dear BA in Dramaturgy? I did follow my heart when I had to choose my profession, I did not think about jobs and all at that time. I have graduated, so what now? It looks like there is no suitable job here, for instance. Except that tourist guide thingie, but that actually does not have much to do with my true profession. So here I am, an outstanding student, a proven and graduated writer/dramaturg with a shitty private life. What to do now, eh? Errr... a sip of salmari, perhaps?
For conclusion, time for some more self-pity. Yep, I feel sad and empty. Like that I have been thrown into a void. Perhaps things will get better and I will throw a graduation party eventually... it would really be so great that all of you, my dear friends, could attend this party... but now I just feel so sad and empty.