Sometimes I think that the life here is heavy, considering the climate. Why somebody moves to this climate, and then even decides to spend another winter here, I wonder. But still... I feel like staying.
Monday, November 16, 2009
GREETINGS FROM JYVÄSKYLÄ
Sometimes I think that the life here is heavy, considering the climate. Why somebody moves to this climate, and then even decides to spend another winter here, I wonder. But still... I feel like staying.
Monday, October 19, 2009
SHOPPING SPREE
Either in Finland or in Slovenia - same stories. Young schoolgirls with their schoolbags shopping after school. I don't know why, but for some reasons I feel bothered. Sure, one needs clothes, especially when it comes to job and stuff like that. I am also an active part of consumer's society and sometimes I really like shopping. I like to have my style, I like to be elegant. I probably put too much stress on my clothing and I like new clothes; however, I'm not very proud of this fact and I'm also trying not to care so much. Also, I don't care for brands, or even not at all.
Maybe these clothes-shopping little girls bother my mind because I don't have a very nice memories on my last year in primary school. We were 14 years old teenagers when girls got into clothing (and makeup) and in my school it was all about famous brands. It was about shopping in Italy and Austria and having a different jumper every day of the week. I was different, quiet, artistic and more introverted at those times; however, I remember how some of the girls-with-brands in my class were verbally torturing their different fellows. Kids can be so very cruel.
I'm sorry I didn't possess some of my ''older wisdom'' back then; well, I'm not sure how wise I'm now but I guess there is some improvement. I'm sorry I was not proud of myself as being different, quiet, artistic, I'm sorry that I didn't have enough strength to fight with all stupid commercial and shallow ideas, I'm sorry that I was so insecure. I'm not happy as I still feel how my values were missplaced. And I'm sorry as I sometimes cannot fight those ghosts from the past even nowdays.
I guess now the times are much more materialistic than those ten years ago. Schoolgirls and schoolboys now carry their own bankcards; probably, the differences are much bigger now. I am affraid that today among kids it is much more important who can buy a new jumper in H&M after school and who can't. And probably those that are somewhat different do not feel any better than we did; they feel even worse.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
AUTUMN APPROACHES SWEETLY
There should be no secrets about how much I love ice-cream. In Finland, I cannot find as tasty frozen delights as in my country of origin. Finnish ice-cream is also tasty, of course, but so far I have missed the softness, the so important smooth creaminess; that so silky touch. Finnish jätski, on the other hand, is usually more firm, like some kind of a snow; or if it is the so called softie, pehmis, it comes in just a few and not that exciting variations. Well, it's good that I know some visit-worth ice-cream places in Slovenia - and I'm always happy to hear about any new interesting spots. Also in Finland. ;)
However, yesterday it was the first day of the autumn, the Autumnal equinox, and by some chance the 23rd of September also represents the day I have started my blog... now three years ago. Still in the blogosphere, despite the fact Kaneli is not as active as she used to be. But nevertheless, blogging rules! Anyway, just two years ago she was posting some amazing pictures of Finnish ruska to celebrate the beginning of autumn; now it's perhaps a good moment to show some snaps of Kaneli's recent much prolonged summer holidays.
My autumn has started with ice-cream. And, the most important - the white one on this picture is cinnamon ice-cream. Pure pleasure. Sweet autumn I wish! :)
Sunday, August 23, 2009
ABOUT MY SUMMER
1. Summer festivals in Finland, 4 in total. Worked at Provinssirock (Seinäjoki), Nummirock (Nummijärvi) and Ilosaarirock (Joensuu). Visited Tuska (Helsinki).
2. Working at the festivals in Finland as security steward (järjestyksenvalvoja) was an interesting experience. First of all, I was working in Finnish, and only in Finnish; second, I got some money. Things seemed well organised. The job felt good, regardless a lot of working hours and sometimes only 4 hours of sleep. And yes, the job surely did increase my self-confidence.
3. I had some good time in summer Helsinki again, first at Tuska and then also during a private visit. As it is summer, the city was full of tourists again, sunny and surprisingly hot. Also the airport was crowded, and I surely don't like crowded airports. Next time I'll fly home during less busy season; it's much nicer.
4. I am turning into a serious fan of Battlestar Galactica.
5. Now I'm again confronted with some emotional emptiness and some depression, which keeps my creativity away. I'm kind of loosing time, and I know it, but for some reasons I'm just stuck in the space. I really hate such unsure situations. I hate to make wrong decisions. And I feel exhausted for no proper reason.
6. So I just hope for a nice and active autumn.
Friday, July 03, 2009
TIME FOR A SWIM
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
ZADETA?
Pretekli vikend je bil na Finskem zelo pomemben - dogajal se je Juhannus, kresni večer; mimogrede, Juhannus je vedno na tisto soboto, ki je najbližja datumu kresne noči (in potem je že sam petek pred tem ena velika sobota ker je pof***n Juhannus). Kakorkoli, praznovanje poletja na Finskem pomeni množično popivanje (kajpak) ter posledično utapljanje v jezerih. In takoj na tem mestu lahko povem, kako sem se ta Juhannus ter vse ostale čase pred njim razlikovala od večine ter od česa še nikoli nisem bila zadeta. Ne sedaj, niti nikoli prej. Alkohol. Alko in jaz ne greva skupaj; tu in tam sem že poskusila kak požirek (pa ne vina, ker mi smrdi) pa mi zadevščina sploh ni bila všeč. Alkohola enostavno ne maram. Kar povzroča nemalo čudenja tako med Slovenci kot tudi med Finci, katerim je ljubezen do alkoholne zadetosti vsekakor več kot skupna. Ampak... alco is not my way, and it has never been. Čeprav vedno znova ugotavljam, da je abstinenca skorajda hujša družbena stigma kot alkoholizem...
Mogoče sem nekakšen novi hipi (a sem že omenila, da sem vegetarijanka?), ki hoče živeti zdravo in se ne uničevat s pijačo. Pa ne morem biti niti hipi, ker še nikoli nisem poskusila kadit - niti tobaka, niti česa hujšega. Ne glede na dejstvo, da sem študirala na umetniški akademiji, kjer je včasih že sam prostor šolanja dišal po prepovedanih substancah. Nad takšnimi dejanji se nikoli nisem zgražala (toliko hipija je le v meni), ni pa mi bilo do tega, da bi poskusila. Sicer ne maram biti pasivna kadilka; verjetno sem med tisto peščico, ki se veseli, da ji ob obisku barov in koncertov oprava ne smrdi po čikih. Po drugi strani pa sem verjetno spet hinavska... saj velika večina oseb v mojih dramah kadi. :D
Ali sem torej sploh kdaj bila zadeta? Zakaj sem se spravila pisat ta post, če samo bluzim o nekem zdravem in bolj ali manj sterilnem življenju? Well, let's see... Verjetno sem nasploh občutljivo bitje, in tako me zadanejo že zelo drobne zadevice, ki se marsikoga še dotaknejo ne. Ena od teh dnevnih zadevic je kava. Brez kave ne gre - in ja, razlika med mojim počutjem pred in po kavi je velika. Preveč kave, po drugi strani, pa ima prav tako posledice, saj postanem živčna, nemirna, on speed. Ampak kofein je vseeno zakon. Samo ne preveč njega.
Pozitivno zadeta sem po treningih borilnih veščin. Nekoč je to bil nanbudo, danes je aikido. Dostikrat se zgodi, da grem na trening zaspana in slabe volje, po treningu pa sem polna energije. In tisto počutje je vsekakor blizu nečemu, kar bi opredelila kot zadetost. V dobrem smislu me potem zadene še savna (sauna), sploh po uspešnem treningu, ali pa kar tako. Pa seveda metal/rock festivali, kakšna res huda muzika (Flogging Molly!) in še bolj huda besedila, zadanejo me dobri filmi, knjige, nekoč me je izjemno močno zadelo gledališče. Aja, zadenejo me tudi kužki. Imela sem dva in sedaj si (napol) lastim že tretjega; dejansko sem pogrešala tisto pravo druženje s psi. Abstinenčna kriza po psu je bedna.
Negativne zadetosti... tudi te so bile, in ker sem občutljiva pesimistka, sem različne zoprne dogodke zaznavala (in jih še zaznavam) toliko močneje. Najbolj me je zaznamovala - ter me močno zadela - nesrečna romanca. Ja, ja, seveda se to dogaja vsem. kaj bluzim... pa vseeno. Posledice tiste interakcije občutim še danes, po treh letih. I am still not cold and cool... :/ Tako sem bila po tisti nesrečni romanci močno zadeta od depresije... mogoče je bila depra bolj podobna mačku po sami zadetosti, kaj pa vem, ker pač pravega mačka nisem nikoli doživela...
Za konec lahko povem še to, da je omenjena nesrečna romanca poleg negativne zadetosti prinesla vsaj nekaj pozitivnih posledic. Zadetost s Finsko, njeno kulturo in predvsem s finščino. In ta zadetost še traja. Ihan jees! ;)
P.S.: Koga naj tegam, če ste že vsi napisali svojo izpoved?! Kakorkoli, če kdo še ni napisal takega posta in bere moj blog, se lahko spravi pisat. :P
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
THE TIME FOR SUMMER MUSIC
This year, I am looking forward to at least some of these festivals, but I am also waiting them with slight excitement... and there are some reasons. For the first time I am not going to be the audience, but I will belong to the festival crew... eeek, sure I am a bit scared! :D
Saturday, May 30, 2009
FAIR TRADE
Dear consumer!
It is very nice to see you care for the nature and for the fair world. Regardless the higher price, you stay loyal to those better products, and basically everything what you have is either organic or fair trade. You might also be vegan/vegetarian as you don't support the cruel food industry. However... (there will always be a however if I am writing, OK?)... so, however...
Dear consumer,
there is something I don't really understand. You seem to be so supportive towards nature and, most of all, fair trade products; you don't want to be ignorant as so many other consumers are., just buying the stuff, no matter if it was done by a poor kid somewhere in India. Yet, my dear consumer, you are ignorant. You care about the world, but you don't care about those that live close to you; near you. You care about fair trade, but you don't care to organise a fair sharing of the, for instance, student appartement. You don't care if the pipes in the bathroom get stuck, regardless the fact that you sometimes take shower even twice a day. You can use a kitchen-item and you don't care to either a) ask about it or b) say thanks. You don't feel like sharing the shelves in the common kitchen, also. And you still don't ask if this or that would be fine with others. Overall, despite some good impressions that you can give, especially with the choice of the products you make, you seem so very ignorant.
Dear consumer...
Are you sure you understand the meaning of organic and fair trade? Do you really support the ideology behind these products? Do you really care about some poor kid in India? Do you really care about trees if you don't care about your actual neigbhours?
Dear consumer
I am afraid you don't actually support neither organic nor fair trade ideology. Well, actually you think you do, honestly you think, but all your other behaviour is controversive. Thus, my dear consumer, I would dare to say you are only following some general trends, some Cosmopolitan writings that scream to you buy organic, buy fair trade! Because it's cool., because it's so trendy... because you have to show you're different... you have to at least pretend you're not ignorant.
However, my dear consumer, you are very ignorant, and buying all these organic and fair trade products feels so very phony, careless and empty...
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Saturday, May 09, 2009
AN APPROACH TO INDIVIDUALISM
In my previous post, I was writing about Finnish food, so let’s just continue with my recent observations of Finnish culture. When I have checked keyword analysis of my blog, I have noticed that somebody visited my page due to the word finish individualism. Thus, I am offering one of the possible approaches to the subject; however, please be aware that Finnish individualism has many faces, and this is just one among many. The post might feel a bit black-and-white as I am just writing from my angry part of self. Of course there are always some nice exceptions – but do they only prove the rule?
The beginning of my interaction with Finnish individualism reaches about four years into the past. Even then I had some feelings the society might be very self-orientated. However, when I have started to live with Finns and when I have started to deal with Finnish society more active, my experiences have grown. What bothers me, and sometimes also hurts me a lot is the fact that what an outsider would perhaps see as individualism might actually be egocentrism. The I-only-care-for-myself-and-my-own-good attitude. Egocentrism surely is a part of human nature after all; my friend M. would even say that altruism does not exist.
Blame it all on the developed capitalism.
Lately, I have been reading some forums where the Finns themselves were complaining over their Finnish flatmates; and no wonder some magazine was writing how to behave towards those that live with you. In this society, everything feels like a competition. I was here first, I don’t care about you. This is mine, I don’t care about you. If one is too soft and too kind, one gets hurt; the developed and welfare world is cruel. No, I guess young Finns are not so introverted – they can be just so very ignorant. And that ignorance produces social coldness here up North; the frost among people which might also appear as daring individualism.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
FINNISH FAVORITES
1. Leipäjuusto - Bread Cheese
Also known as squeaky cheese, round, baked to get its brown marks. In shops one can find it in pieces or whole small disks. Traditionally, it is eaten with cloudberry jam - I've tried it and no matter how strange it might seem it is just so very tasty.
2. Viili
A product of fermented milk, some kind of yoghurt, very special texture. Good for stomack. One needs to get used of viili's strange surface, but afterwards it is really nice. Especially I like organic viili with forest fruits.
3. Tyrnihillo - Sea buckthorn jam
It took some time for me to realise this is actually the plant we call rakitovec in Slovenian. Never seen it in the nature; even if I have done, I haven't been aware of it. Used in cosmetic industry also, has lots of vitamines.4. Lakkahillo - Couldberry jam
The lakka grows in Lapland and in Finland it is sold to tourists in many different ways. However, the best is in my opinion the jam where one can notice actual fruit and its proper taste.
5. Lapin rieska - Lefse
Traditional Nordic bread, low, baked without yeast. In Finland, there are rye, potato and also barley versions. The disks can be big or small, thinner or thicker. I also like the package in which rieska is sold; the baker has cleverly used motives from shaman drums. Thus, I can imagine also Kalevala heroes were feasting on such bread...
6. Karjalan piirakka - Karelian pie
Finnish type of pirozhki, so originally not Finnish as it has come from Russia; afterall, Karelia is on the border. Rye crust and rice fiilling; rice, however, is not very traditional but I like it nevertheless. Also comes with potato and meaty fillings.
7. Daim kakku - Daim cake
Well, this last dish is not Finnish, but, alas, traditionally Swedish. The reason why I put it here is the fact I have tasted this cake in Finland for the first time and one can also buy it frozen in almost every supermarket. Almonds, chocolate, no flour... just delicious.
Friday, April 17, 2009
THE VILLAGE UP NORTH
There is a particular Maj Karma's song I really feel attracted to - and not because it seems to be an old hit. Again, it's the lyrics. The story of my latest play that I wrote back in 2006 and also my personal story. So, here I provide you with the translated lyrics. For better understanding you can also read this article about Sodankylä, the village in the Arctic Circle and then you can also enjoy Maj Karma's video.
This is Sodankylä, full of wonders.
Kesä saattaa olla lämmin, vaan ei näin ylhäällä.
Summer can be warm, but not up here.
Sä jäit seisoon pakkaseen, mun oli mentävä.
You stood still in the frost, I had to go.
Se on surullista, niin kovin surullista.
This is sad, so very sad.
Me oltiin napapiirin rakastavaiset, vähän aikaa vaan.
We were lovers of the Arctic Circle, only for some time.
Ja nyt kun satu on ohi, ei tarvi matkustaa,
And now when the story is over there is no need to travel,
rakkaimpansa luokse aina jonnekkin pohjolaan.
to the lover always somewhere up north.
Se on surullista, tai ei oikeastaan...
This is sad, or not really...
Joo, mä tajusin ettei, tajusin ettei me,
Yes, I realised we won't, I realised we won't
enää nähdä toisiamme.
see eachother again.
Mä sanoin hyvästi ystävä hei, e-ei.
I said farewell my friend, hei, no-no
Joo, mä tajusin ettei, tajusin ettei me,
Yes, I realised we won't, I realised we won't
enää nähdä toisiamme.
see eachother again.
Vaan onko väliä sillä, no ei, e-ei.
But does it really matter, well no, no-no.
Sodankylä, Sodankylä.
Soi Sodankylän Seita-baareissa iskelmä.
In Sodankylä's Seita-bar schlager is playing
Ollaan onnellisii, kaikki on hienosti-hä.
We are happy, everything is well-eh.
Sodankylä, Sodankylä.
Joo, mä tajusin ettei, tajusin ettei me,
Yes, I realised we won't, I realised we won't
enää nähdä toisiamme.
see eachother again.
Vaan onko väliä sillä, no ei, e-ei.
But does it really matter, well no, no-no.
Sodankylä, Sodankylä.
Sodankylä, Sodankylä.
Hei, Sodankylä. Sodankylä.
Sodankylä, Sodankylä.
Tää on Sodankylä kaukana, täynnä ihmeitä.
This is Sodankylä, full of wonders.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
SUDDEN SPRING
Maybe long Finnish winters are something which I cannot accept as easily as many other cultural and natural features. Sure, snow in winter feels fine, and also that classical white Christmas. One learns how to overcome long nights with many additional lights; candles, for instance. In March, days are already long, but still... the snow stays there. Now in April days are even longer, already much longer than in Central Europe, but still... the snow in Mid-Finland is melting slowly; too slow, perhaps.
I like spring, and I don't see it as romantic period of love and all that kitchy stuff. I like how the nature wakes up in spring; I like fresh leaves, flowers and first mild storms. Proper spring is what I have really been missing in Finland and I have been glad when I have seen first cracks on the ice.
However, now during my visit in Slovenia, during this warm and green spring, I have already started to miss Finland and really long days; regardless the snow. Oh, I guess I constantly suffer with melancholy and gentle longing...
Saturday, March 28, 2009
SIX
koske maata
menetä tämä elo maaksi
hetki sulje
(Tenhi: Tuulenkato)
I was kind of tagged by Nina to search for the sixth folder with pictures, to choose the sixth image out of that sixth folder and, finally, to post it here with the story of its creation. My pictures, however, are following their own order which does not necessarily include several folders. Thus, I chose the folder with the highest amount of various images - and I found one on the sixth place
Strangely enough, this image was taken in 2006; in April, to be precise. The sky over the forest at my Slovenian home. I still remember well it was the very first storm that year and I was amazed by the blackness of the clouds. The shine of the sky.
This image is also connected to Finland, in a way. The year 2006 was not that good year for me; depression was initiated, my sky was covered with gloomy clouds, only some patches of shiny blue was left...
In that strange spring I was also listening a lot to my dear Tenhi; the band had just issued new album Maaäet. The atmosphere of the picture is for me closely associated with the lyrics of Tuulenkato.
And on tagging - well, dear fellow bloggers, if you feel like searching for your sixth picture within the sixth folder and then write a post about it, you are vey welcome to do so.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
IRISH CELEBRATION
Anyways, here is a link to the video by my favorite band Flogging Molly so just enjoy the music. Sláinte!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
PRAKTIČNA PRISPODOBA
P.S.: Današnji dan je bil popolnoma zanič in zoprn. Za en drek. Ihan perseestä!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
NUJNOST SAMOSTOJNEGA VSAKDANA
Deklica mlajše generacije je razlagala svoji starejši družabnici, po vsej verjetnosti mami, da se, ko bo dosegla določeno starost, ne misli odseliti od doma. Zakaj le, ko pa imam doma vse preskrbljeno, perilo je oprano in hrana skuhana. Takšen bi bil povzetek argumenta, v katerem je deklica opisala ugodje, ki ji ga ponujajo mamina gospodinjska opravila. Seveda, ko se nekdo preseli, gospodinjska opravila postanejo neizogibna nujnost samostojnega vsakdana.
Sama sem si kar nekaj let želela, da bi se odselila od doma. Ker sem študirala v domačem mestu, se selitev v študijske namene ni zgodila, dokler se nisem odločila za magisterij. Na Severu Evrope, izkušnje imam predvsem z Islandijo in Finsko, pa je tako ali tako nekaj popolnoma običajnega, da se otroci odselijo od doma že zelo zgodaj. Družbene razmere so tam res drugačne, standard višji in situacija mnogo ugodnejša za tiste, ki začenjajo samostojno pot; ni primerjave, pa vendar...
Če so razmere naklonjene odraščajočim mladim, ali ne - želja in hrepenenje po samostojnosti lahko ostaneta prisotna. Špekuliram in razmišljam, da si bodo mulci prizadevali ravno nasprotno- čeprav se jim bo ponudila možnost, bodo vztrajali in raje bivakirali v udobnem Mamahotelu.
Kakorkoli že, ugodje zna biti tudi to, da se nekdo ob življenju na svojem nauči dobro opravljati osnovna gospodinjska opravila, od kuhanja in nakupovanja živil do pranja in spoznavanja primernih pralnih sredstev; enostavnosti, ki lahko prinesejo samozavest in občutek neodvisnosti ter tako osvežijo življenje.
Friday, February 20, 2009
DO YOU NEED A BAG?
According to my experience, in Finland one would be at first asked, and then the plastic bag would be given - or not. However, I have noticed that in Slovenia, a plastic bag would be placed automatically, without a question; not in all shops, I guess, and also when buying grocery the plastic bag has to be purchased, so the user has time to think about it. Yet here were certainly some not-a-grocery-shops I where have missed the ''crucial'' question. When there is no interest from the other side, however, I tend to stop the act of giving away a plastic bag myself. Despite the fact I am so used of being asked about the bag that I sometimes even forget how generous Slovenian shops can be when it comes to their plastic additions...
Anyway, I don't feel like writing a long essay about the waste and all other ecological facts considering the (over)use of plastic bags; I just feel canvas shopping bags are useful and good. In many ways.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
CLEVER
Winter sales in Finland went all the way to 70% off the original price and thus it was easier to spend money on some additional and perhaps slightly silly thingies other than just clothes. Lately, however, my obsession would not be clothes but vegan and bio cosmetic products; well, this could be another post within too many times neglected Cinnamon Book.
There were winter sales that turned my attention to this clever set for traveling. It surely is all-in-all plastic and it probably has been made in one particular Asian country... but I don't care. When traveling, I do not plan to search for products in small bottles I would probably throw away after the trip, thus polluting the environment. One can fill these little bottels with liquids-already-at-home by her own choice; in my case, everything would be just products for using while taking a shower. Or a bath, whatever.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
BIVATI S FINKAMI ALI GRELNIK VODE
Poleti sem srečala samo eno od njih. C, po črki na vratih njene sobe, je včasih prišla po pošto. Punco A sem prvič samo slišala; nek junijski dan se je prišla zjutraj stuširat, nato pa je šla, ne da bi se videli. Ampak takrat je bilo poletje, predavanja so se končala in študentom ni bilo treba ostajati v študentskih naseljih.
Septembra me je pričakalo stanovanje v enaki zasedbi - jaz in isti dve Finki. Kmalu se je izkazalo, da je C več ali manj pri fantu ter da v svoji sobi prespi le tu in tam. Doma pa je bila A, čeprav sem to včasih vedela le po tem, da je bilo v veži več čevljev kot ponavadi. Z A sva sobivali po cele tedne in tudi čez vikende - in kljub temu je približno dva meseca skupnega življenja sploh nisem videla. Nekdo je uporabljal kopalnico in šel v kuhinjo takrat, ko mene ni bilo notri. Tudi ko sva se prvič srečali, se je to zgodilo po naključju: jaz sem šla v stanovanje, ona pa ven. Tako se nisva nikoli predstavili druga drugi; njeno ime vem samo zato, ker pobiram pošto. Kasneje sva se srečali še dvakrat in vsa najina konverzacija v pol leta deljenja kuhinje in kopalnice do tega trenutka obsega jutro in živjo. Dobro, vsaj to dvoje je bilo v finščini.
Že prej sem slišala mite o finskih cimrah in cimrih, da so kot duhovi, da se jih sploh ne sliši in podobno. Po drugi strani pa sem slišala tudi zgodbe o tem, da so finske in nefinske cimre med seboj postale prijateljice. Spet tretja Finka mi je rekla, da je popolnoma odvisno od človeka; s tem se strinjam. Tudi sama nisem najbolj zgovorno bitje, poleg tega pa zelo težko navežem prvi stik. Če me ogovori drugi, nimam problemov in se lahko pogovarjam. Če zaznam nekakšen zid tudi na drugi strani, je težko... V vseh mojih študentskih letih pa se poleg tega šele v času magisterija prvič srečujem z dejstvom, ki se mu reče cimra in tako itak nimam nobenega pojma.
Opazila sem, da me je v teh mesecih medsebojne tišine začelo motiti dejstvo, da tako A kot C, kadar je doma, uporabljata moj grelnik vode; A pa tudi moj aparat za kavo. Deljenje stvari in posojanje kuhinjskih aparatov me sploh ne moti - ampak vseeno hočem, da me drugi vpraša za dovoljenje. Mogoče zato, ker sama nočem uporabljati stvari, ki ne pripadajo meni oziroma vedno najprej vprašam. Odsotnost vprašanja in samoumevnost me prizadaneta. Enostranskega posojanja in občutka, da nekdo samo izkorišča mojo dobro voljo, ne maram. Poleg tega imam nekaj izkušenj s finsko kulturo in vem, da so ponavadi vljudni in previdni. Po drugi strani sta tišina in nezgovornost Fincev površna stereotipa; vse te misli pa so končno samo posploševanje, če ne celo rasno razlikovanje...
V našem finsko-slovenskem primeru se druga drugi nismo niti predstavile, kaj šele da bi izmenjale osnovne informacije o delitvi stanovanja. Z A se še nikoli nisva pogovorili, kdaj ima katera predavanje in kdaj katera potrebuje kopalnico. Nikoli se vse tri nismo domenile, katera bo kupila toaletni papir. V sicer skupni kuhinji vsaka uporablja svoj detergent za pomivanje posode. Vse skupaj je kot hostel, ki ga občasno posesava jaz ali C, kadar pride; pa še v hostlih prebivalci govorijo med seboj. Po eni strani mi tak individualizem zelo ustreza, obožujem svoj mir in od cimer ne pričakujem, da bi postale prijateljice. Prav tako v vsem tem času ni bilo niti nadležnih obiskov, niti hrupa. Pa vendar... pomanjkanje osnovne komunikacije in občutek ignorance sta moteča. Finsko govorim dovolj dobro, obe z A sva naročeni na Helsingin Sanomat, tako da jezikovne prepreke ne morejo biti izgovor.
Ker se je moj grelnik vode začel obnašati čudno, sem ga po božiču raje pospravila in priklopila le, ko sem ga potrebovala in sem lahko preverjala delovanje. Takrat se je izkazalo, da je C tako ali tako že ves čas imela svoj grelnik, ki je bil v škatli in je čepel v omari. V tej isti omari je tudi škatla z aparatom za kavo in še ena škatla z mikrovalovno pečico. Nekje je bil svoje čase tudi palični mešalnik. Ko sem se poleti preselila, je bila kuhinja prazna. Ne vem, kateremu dekletu te kuhinjske zadeve dejansko pripadajo - ampak očitno so pospravljene in nekako ne na voljo za množično uporabo. Kakorkoli, ko je C prejšnji teden spet šla, je izginil tudi njen grelnik, A pa je po dnevu ali dveh popolne odsotnosti grelnikov v kuhinjo od nekod prinesla svojega. Nobena izmed njiju me ni vprašala, kaj je z mojim grelnikom narobe ali zakaj sem ga kar naenkrat pospravila.
Če sem jaz otrok socializma, so potem Finke in Finci moje generacije potomci razvite kapitalistične družbe. Znamo mi deliti in oni ne? Smo mi iz držav v tranziciji manj individualistični in obenem tudi manj egocentrični kakor Zahodnjaki? Je nam manj vseeno in samoumevno? Najpreprostejši grelnik vode oziroma z njim povezana bedarija lahko tako kaj hitro preraste v družbeno-politični diskurz; vso to kolobicijo bi seveda rešila preprosta komunikacija. Vprašanje, odgovor in mogoče drobna vljudnost.
Otroci socializma ali kapitalizma - očitno je A, meni B in mogoče tudi C skupno to, da nismo ravno spretne v komunikaciji...
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
2009
I want to see the time as a constant flow and thus all this overdoing with the coming of the New Year can feel too much. Well, I want, but I don't know how well I am able to escape this Central-European way of putting a lot of importance on the switch of years; it is an old habit into which I was born. On 31.12. 08, however, I happened to be in Finland, or to be more precise - in Helsinki. Aelfsciene, the guy that does not write a blog and me went to attend these two evenings of metal gigs in Nosturi. I was very very happy to finally see Estonian folk-metal band Metsatöll live on stage; but there was also something else I have learned during those two nights in Nosturi.
I found out Finns actually do not count down at midnight - and I think this is more than great. Celebration all night long without stressing the exact moment of midnight; this makes the change on the calendar kind of smooth and it creates that exact feeling of the floating time I am also after.
Now I can return to the old perception of the time and review the past 12 months. Or the time which has been called 2008. It was... well, not a very easy bunch of time. Well, I am not even sure if a certain amount of time can be totally and by all means easy; things probably need equilibrium, too much of easiness might again cause uneasiness. My strange logic or paradox or whatever.
Life in general: In the past 12 months I have been dealing a lot with depression. Accepting it, overcoming it, kind of. There was also forgetting, yet I am not sure about forgiving; perhaps it came as a part of forgetting. I also had a lot of work with my studies and I moved to another flat. Now I am dealing a lot with cooking and baking - and I like it.
Trips: Fun with Aelfsciene in Finland. 9 hours long train ride to Rovaniemi and then the same amount of hours to get back to JKL was the longest train ride I had ever done. However, during the same train ride I saw a real Finnish moose for the first time, and it was exactly on the Midsummer's Eve, Juhannus. Another new experience was the polar day.
Studies: I went back with my Finnish skills, but I went forward in my knowledge of Japanese. In addition, I made some progress in Aikido.
Music and Culture: Seeing Flogging Molly live was a great experience. Tuska Metal Festival in Helsinki and Metalcamp in Slovenia were the only two metal festivals I attended. Tuska was cold, Metalcamp rainy; but both were more or less fine. Then, Lutakko, the coolest place for gigs in JKL, has become the place of my work. Considering culture I finally managed to see my favorite painting, Lemminkäisen äiti by Akseli Gallen-Kallela.
Animal: Sheep. Just don't ask me why...
Well... there was probably more events which I should write down, but as the time constantly floats I will rather stop making a big deal about that amount of time we have marked with the number 2008.
Finally, for good energy overall and not only in the time of the year that has just started, here is some nice lyrics in Estonian.
anna elu, anna kivile
kanna rammu, kanna hõimule
kanna maale kuhu sünnime
Metsatöll - Veelind