Monday, October 19, 2009


Today at H&M I noticed one very excited little girl. In one hand, she was holding a jumper; in the other she had her mobile phone and she talked to her daddy. ''I'm in H&M and I've found such a great jumper,'' reported the girl, thus probably asking for permission if she could buy the jumper. She seemed to be around ten years old; little and very young for sure. Shopping with her same-aged friends.

Either in Finland or in Slovenia - same stories. Young schoolgirls with their schoolbags shopping after school. I don't know why, but for some reasons I feel bothered. Sure, one needs clothes, especially when it comes to job and stuff like that. I am also an active part of consumer's society and sometimes I really like shopping. I like to have my style, I like to be elegant. I probably put too much stress on my clothing and I like new clothes; however, I'm not very proud of this fact and I'm also trying not to care so much. Also, I don't care for brands, or even not at all.

Maybe these clothes-shopping little girls bother my mind because I don't have a very nice memories on my last year in primary school. We were 14 years old teenagers when girls got into clothing (and makeup) and in my school it was all about famous brands. It was about shopping in Italy and Austria and having a different jumper every day of the week. I was different, quiet, artistic and more introverted at those times; however, I remember how some of the girls-with-brands in my class were verbally torturing their different fellows. Kids can be so very cruel.

I'm sorry I didn't possess some of my ''older wisdom'' back then; well, I'm not sure how wise I'm now but I guess there is some improvement. I'm sorry I was not proud of myself as being different, quiet, artistic, I'm sorry that I didn't have enough strength to fight with all stupid commercial and shallow ideas, I'm sorry that I was so insecure. I'm not happy as I still feel how my values were missplaced. And I'm sorry as I sometimes cannot fight those ghosts from the past even nowdays.

I guess now the times are much more materialistic than those ten years ago. Schoolgirls and schoolboys now carry their own bankcards; probably, the differences are much bigger now. I am affraid that today among kids it is much more important who can buy a new jumper in H&M after school and who can't. And probably those that are somewhat different do not feel any better than we did; they feel even worse.


Riki said...

Will you stop the shopping spree, almost caught among your lies? but when you turn and look at me, I see spendthrift in your eyes!

kaneli said...

A je to kakšen treš al kaj? :P