THE WISH

Snow has gone. Some very odd things are going on lately, too. I only wonder and try to understand. Yet I would like some sudden silences to be explained... Sometimes I just cannot understand. I don't care for some things. For other, I care far too much. I try to do my best. Or I just think I am trying to do my best. Perhaps I have become slightly too superficial and lazy. God knows.

I would ride my bike on the forest tracks. I would start cross-country skiing again; years have passed since I have last been dealing with cross-country skiing. I would do Genki Nanbu Ichiban on the quiet lake-shore, as I remember me doing it (there was no people around).

In my two latest plays, characters go nuts all of a sudden, and they just leave. Everything behind. People, places; everything. They move, they go, they travel; or at least they try to move. They take a brake. Yep, I would need holidays, desperately. Just a week would be enough, a week in one different world, different city, wherever different. I would just go to... somewhere. But I start this job in February...

I would take a brake. I would take a deep breath.

There are things I have to think about. There is me I have to think about the most, I guess.

TODAY IN DOJO

Something that meant a lot to me happened today. Alright, you can say I am boasting or overdoing or whatever you wish. Yet such small events can bring me so much happiness. Moments, that can make heavy day slightly lighter. Nanbudo training.

At the beginning of each training, we always start our practice with formal greeting. The ritual I so like; with traditional samurai spirit. Let me provide here more accurate description. We students and Sensei (teacher) line up, facing each other. Sensei sits at the front of the dojo. To Sensei's left, facing the middle of the dojo, are black belts, arranged from highest to lowest, with highest sitting closest to Sensei. If there is many black belts, the rest sit on Sensei's right hand side, in the same formation. The Kyus (school grades) sit facing Sensei below the black belts, lined across the dojo. They sit with the highest kyus (1., 2., 3.) on Sensei's left, going down in grades. During formal greeting, we repeat three Principles of Nanbudo (see below).

However, today there was only one black belt at the beginning and he was our Sensei; Fukushidoin since he has 1st Dan. Greeting is always done so, that chosen higher belt assists Sensei at the ritual. There are exact commands the assistant gives. Usually these commands are given by the highest black belt after the Sensei, or by the highest Kyu. The language is of course Japanese.

Moto no ichi - the assistant orders the group to line up

Seiza - sensei sits, the assistant sits, then assistant commands others to sit by saying Ossu!

Seikoza - we put right hand into the left, tips of the thumbs touching

Sensei leads our reciting of Nanbudo Mittsu no Chikara. Sensei also announces the end of meditation.

Fukushidoin ni rei - the assistant commands greeting to the Sensei (today he was Fukushidoin)

Otogai ni rei - the assistant commands greeting to all of us (''bow to the others'')

Kiritsu - the assistant commands the group to stand up

Today, I was given the honour to assist Sensei at the opening greeting. Duty I have never done before; it was very first time for me, deshi, 3rd kyu, green belt. Very good experience I so enjoyed. And yes, I did the assistance properly.

Nanbudo Mittsu no Chikara:

Chikara da (force, moč)
Yuki da (courage, pogum)
Shinnen da (conviction, prepričanje)

WINTER

Snow has happened.

Huoneeni on valkoinen kuin ei mitään

Kävelyä lumen päällä kuin emme kävelisikään

Me upposimme se ei jaksanut kantaa meitä

ONLY RABBITS AND WRITERS

Yesterday I completed one quite small but on the other hand quite sweet task. I wrote a book review. To be broadcasted on the radio. I hope I did it successfully. Well, I will get my feedback sooner or later. Nevertheless this little task makes me proud. Yeah, right, I give a fuck if I am overdoing it. As a dramaturge, I have already written some book reviews, whereas those were all books on performing arts. More or less my field. I have also written theatre and dance reviews; loads of them. Writing on stuff which has to do with performing arts is nothing but my profession.

However, the review I wrote yesterday is not on performing arts. It was on a novel. Pure literature. Perhaps I should give the title here: Dedu za petami - Searching for Grandpa - Isoisää etsimässä by Arto Paasilinna. Fresh Slovenian translation. Okay, the original seems Finnish. And so it is. Just please do not think I went totally nuts and crazy since I am writing something about the mentioned land again. I have always been a freak; but this is actually not the case in this post. Back to the book now. I happen to like Paasilinna. As many other readers do. I was even trying to read him in Finnish. Reader-friendly by all means (and in both languages): simple stories, interesting and so nicely odd characters, lots of humor and irony. As well as this traces of melancholy he includes. Decent entertainment indeed. After I have spent at least some small amount of time in Finland, I dare to say I have got slightly better insight into Finnish society and the landscapes Paasilinna writes about. It is special tunnelma in his writing. The atmosphere one cannot even tell about; one just has to feel it.

Sure it was fun to write this review. Oh, you might have started to wonder about the discussed book. Quite okay, yet not that okay as those most famous works of Arto Paasilinna. Not that good as Zajčje leto-The Year of the Hare-Jäniksen vuosi, for instance. Perhaps it also needs to be marked here that Searching for Grandpa is actually not one of the latest Paasilinna's books; it was written back in 1977.

Some time ago I have had this crisis. Like that I did not feel as writing any kind of reviews. I mean, in a way I felt kind of empty, without proper ideas and especially without some theoretical backup. Fuck this artistic apathy, I said, be more active; it's all about this special laziness. Of course I am capable of writing several different thingies; if I only decide to tackle them properly. I just have to give myself a slight push, I have to wait for the silence of the night, then I have to sit down and start writing...

MAJ KARMA - VALAIDEN LAULU