INDUSTRIAL

Most of the world knows Slovenian band Laibach. However, perhaps not all the Laibach fans do know where exactly the band is from; it is good enough if they know the band is from Slovenia. But I am not sure they know about Laibach homeplace. For the last two days, I was working in this very significant town.

When one travels to Trbovlje by train and when the train reaches the particular region, it first feels as being swallowed by some huge creature. This so narrow valley. Steep hills, with trees hanging oddly over the water; the river Sava. Gloomy and dim light, as there would not be enough place for the sun to shine down. And the hills, they are full of coal.

Coalmine has been the beating heart of Trbovlje. For ages. I was told that in the past, the mine had been owned by Austrians, Germans and French. Now, this famous coalmine is about to close until 2013. When one reaches Trbovlje today, this one can encounter significant architecture. Those old houses where the miners dwelt. Small, lots of them in one row. Colonies. A bit bigger houses for those more important, like engineers. Everything seems so... brown. Grey, too. And so it is; these two are the leading colors. Pure socio-realism.

Trbovlje are the town most symbolising Slovene heavy industry. There is still such overall feeling of industrial in Trbovlje, though at least one in the past blooming factory is now gone. It seems that Trbovlje today as it would be clinging between the lost socialistic past, and some kind of future. Decaying remnants of one lost time are facing Lidl, Hoefer and Spar; they have them all. However, there is also this French company, which produces cement; one meets the factory lurking right above the railway station. And that feeling... I always feel so odd in such industrial places. Like being soaked in machine oil. That so significant atmosphere. The spirit floating above the town. Yep, there is no other place for Laibach to emerge. The town as it would burn into one's soul strongly. Also our great dancer and choreographer Iztok Kovač is from here. His company is named En-Knap (One Miner) and no wonder some of his works have been so marked with the experience of growing up in heavy-industrial Trbovlje. Well, I would suggest the artists of all kinds to spend some days here. It could be very inspiring. But it could be a bit suicidal, too.

On last Monday evening, we had this ecological discussion with Tea and Robi in Ortobar. Visiting Trbovlje has reminded me on what we had discussed the day before. The people I talked with in Trbovlje pointed out the appalling problems of pollution in that region. Even some twenty years ago, people were actually dying on behalf of the diseases caused by polluted air. There is this power plant, producing electricity from the coal. There is this cement factory. At least about the power plant I read they use the purifying system, but these emissions still feel scary. Well, take a look at the pictures I have taken...

One of the typical houses in the moring sun.

The place I was working in: cultural house called ''Home of Freedom''. Renewed. Inside, there is a hall with a stage. Once upon a time, a portrait of Tito used to be painted above the stage, I was told.

Laibach do not play punk. But Trbovlje, actually all that region, seems to be a good place for punk to emerge. And so it is. Here, you can see the name of one local band. Hungry Dicks (Nälkäiset Kyrpät) that means in translations. Listen to the crushcore they play - here.

Now, the ecological part begins. Just look at the small local river. I wonder how these things got in.

The production of cement.

Romantic view of Trbovlje coal power plant chimney. With it's 360 m, it is told to be the tallest in Europe.

CRANKY SUNDAY

What a gray, quiet and lazy Sunday. Shitty weather. Such a dull spring. Yesterday, I had a working Saturday. Thus it felt very nice to rest today. Yet I am not in the jolly mood. It is that time of the month which makes me particularly cranky. I feel angry, I feel empty, I feel a bit sad. My horoscope-forecast for the next week seems pretty bad, too... so I worry even more. Well, but seriously. First of all, I have to tell dear people for which I should write e-mail replies that I was not in the proper mood to write any decent stuff today; except for this blog. Yep, cranky Kaneli. Oh, fuck everything! Fuck this weather, fuck the stupid time-change, fuck them cold and ignorant bastards that care only about their arses, fuck the... err, okay, I'll stop now. However, even this I am about to publish today is something I wanted to post sometime earlier, but I was occupied with my work.

The thingie here is one of those surveys that seem quite popular in the world of bloggers. As an active member of this huge virtual community, I have wondered what these surveys had been all about... and how would it feel when one would answer the questions. So, I have taken two of such surveys, and mixed them randomly. Feels like fun. Nevertheless this blogging phenomena is all about making very private so very public... by all means.

1. How old are you?
26

2. Have you been missing anything today?

I have. Some particular people, some particular places, better mood.

3. Have you realized something new today?

Not today… but within the last weeks, I have. Perhaps.
4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar?
I got slightly drunk during those birthday parties in Fabrka, but I did not dance. Too bad. Next time I will!

5. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
Biologist. I am still interested in nature and wildlife. Why the fuck did I went to study theatre?!

6. Get up early or sleep in?

Sleeeeep in.
7. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing?
I have some problems with communication, and I really want to get rid of them.
8. Who is the last person that said to you ’’I love you’’?

There was nobody lately. Oh my.

9. Favorite non-sexual thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
Night walk in the woods.
10. Your favorite place?
A forest and a lake. A lake in the forest.

11. Favorite guilty pleasure?
Chocolate, ice-cream and lately also some sweet cocktails with vodka.

12. Your favorite lunch meat?
I do not eat meat. Only fish. And squid.

13. Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex?

Black and simple. Or no underwear at all, yes.

14. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
Castle’s courtyard.

15.What are you afraid of at the moment?

To be hurt and rejected again.

16. Do you see yourself married in the next five years?
Only cosmos knows the answer.

17. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Huh... I can be far too possessive as well as very jealous.
18. Who do you like?

My friends.

19. Does anyone like you?

I hope my friends do.
20. Do you like being with people?

Sometimes I do a lot, though there are days (as today, for instance) when I desperately need to be alone.

21. The song you hear playing in your head at the moment?
Sydänkohtauksia by Zen Café. However, I am listening to Paradise Lost right now.

22. Which is the last song that has made you cry?

The last one with such effect is The Deepest of All Hearts by My Dying Bride.

23. Have you ever been on the radio/TV?

I can be heard on the radio once a month since I run my own show. But I have also been on the telly. Twice as a representative of Slovenian Tolkien Society and most of the other times as a young Slovenian playwright.

24. Have you ever liked a person that has treated you badly?
Oh yes...

25. What are you wearing at the moment?
Some sporty and loose pants, T-shirt, sweater, underwear.

26. Three things you do daily?

Sleep, write, practice Nanbudo.

27. How much money do you have at the moment?
Not much yet since I am still waiting for some nice payments to be given. Bloody jobs in this cultural field of mine where one has to wait for the money, even if the job has already been done…
28. Are you wearing socks at the moment?

Yes, I wear these too. Woolly purple ones, with big silver snowflakes.
29. The book you are reading these days?

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsing. Also, I have just bought the English translation of Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami. And of course I could not resist to read a few pages immediately...
30. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Traveling to one particular land up North.

VISIONS OF THE WORLD

New glasses are quite an important event in an everyday of a person, that cannot function normally without them at all. Especially if the person's visual capabilities have changed; thus meaning gone a bit bad again. That, for instance, the person cannot see well where she is going. And so on. Too bad I am not so skilled like Zatoichi... What the fuck, this is how life goes. Nevertheless I should have taken my time for eyesight checkup ages ago.

I can see clearly the beauty of the world now. I can see all the shit around much better, too...

Since new glasses are such an important event for me (and an expensive one - merely on behalf of the lenses I require), I add here a couple of photos dedicated to my new addition. The photos of my old ones are in previous post very close to this one; so that my readers would be able to compare Kaneli's change. Oh, also something. These photos were taken in Fabrka, where another birthday party took place last Saturday. This time, the party was held by Nárëlaimë, and the music of the evening was Hypocrisy. For those that are not familiar with metal: I am writing about a Swedish band. However, I dare to copy Nárëlaimë and publish here the very same photo she has posted on her blog. As a good remnant of the band we have become for that evening; just the singer Banshee is missing. And yes, my new glasses can be seen quite well.

ELEGY

Hei, dear all. Some time has passed again. I have been thinking to write about other more jolly things, how I have been doing and working within the last two weeks, and also about Nárëlaimë's birthday party... but later this day, I have turned so... emo. Fuckin' emo. Actually, this feeling has started yesterday already. I was walking home in the evening, the streets were totally empty. There was this cold wind. My hair in the wind. The streetlights were casting my walking shadow. Later that night, I was writing one letter, slowly since I have been writing in Finnish, and the wind was getting stronger and stronger... howling in the darkness outside.

I knew well why the wind had been blowing. The weather has changed. Today, it has started to snow. It is still snowing. Wet snow. Heavy snow. I so like snow. I just love winter. But last week, the trees were already blooming; the spring has burst. Now, this sudden change. The trees have remained so white; yet there is now snow blooming heavily on their branches. So big snowflakes. During today's Nanbudo training, I happened to look out of the window. At some point I found myself staring into those big bits of the falling snow while I was thinking how much I prefer Kaiten Randori San No Kata rather than Randori San No Kata.

There was no proper snow during winter at all, but now... All city is as it would be melting slowly into this late snow. The city is loosing it's shape. Becoming one huge pile of faceless dampness... sneaking into my sweet black boots, pouring so cold down my neck.

Oh, the lights are twinkling. Snowy problems with the electricity; as in some distant Icelandic village. Or somewhere in the deep woods of Lapland. Well, I have already lightened my cinnamon-scented candle here besides the computer... and I think it is better to get back to my drowsy emo-mood before everything falls into this white darkness of the snow.

So, I wish you all lahko noč, sweet dreams and a bunch of good days.

SLOWLY DRIFTING, SMILING SLOWLY

Hello, dear people. Long time, no writing. I have missed you a lot and I hope all is well with you. I am sure you have missed me too... So how are you doing? Okay, nevermind; actually, I do not care because I have turned so fucking egotistic, hehe. However, this here is my latest very official portrait. One friend saw this in Skype some days ago. ''What is with this smiling person in your photo,'' he asked. Well, I answered, life sucks, but I am at least trying to laugh at it all!

As you can see, this will be totally egotripping post. Usual bloggy crap. Perhaps, I should be more socio-critical, spitting venom over politics, society and the present world we live in - but not today. I have been angry and bitter enough within the past days; for several reasons. Well then, where shall I start? I was a bit sick last week; so I tried to rest and get some peace. Thus I could also say my past days have been drifting pretty much slowly. Or not. Depends from the interpretation. Hei, people, I just do not want to hear ''get a life'' phrase said to me never again! Alright, serious now. Last night, I have heard two songs in my dreams. The first one was Decades by Joy Division and the second one was Finnish, Kaikki me kuolemme pian by Jarkko Martikainen. Odd. Especially the selection of the music; God knows why I have heard these two. Also I have never heard songs in my dreams, and never so exact as the two did play. Speaking of music furthermore, today I am attending Viking/Pagan Metal Evening in Fabrka (Fact'ry). There, my friend with a nickname Banshee is celebrating her birthday. I am looking forward to the evening a lot.

Stuff to tell. Again, I have found out that it is not that easy to be a playwright. There was one competition I attended, and my latest play did not reach any high. Despite very good opinions and despite the fact that some years ago my plays did reach very high. Goddamned. But this is how artistic life goes. One time you win, and the other time you do not. One time you are praised, the next time you are not. Playwright just has to know how to deal with such thingies, not to lose motivation, convenience and self-esteem. However, I am happy for one other writer and for the success of her play.

Also something. In mid February I took one exam that measures English proficiency for academic purposes. In case I would need some more proven papers about my language skills and so on. The exam is done entirely via computer, from reading and listening, to speaking and writing. And it lasts almost five hours. So after the exam, I almost got drunk. Actually I did get drunk... a bit. Well, I can write only that the waiting for the results has not been very pleasant time. The results came online last week - and it seems I did it quite well. Better than expected. Huh.

Oh, another news. I am about to get new glasses. I have noticed that I had not seen that well with these old ones - and yes, I have needed new prescription. I guess it was just about time for me... since I have actually had some troubles on behalf of poorer vision. Again I was told contact lenses would not be suitable for me. Well, shit. But on the other hand, I have chosen one glasses that look... very simple, yet hot. Anyway, in general I defend the opinion that glasses can be very sexy addition.

Okay. Lunar eclipse is about to happen this night. Next week, I am on my working road again. Tomorrow, however, it would be very wise to check out 5th Triennal Of Conremporary Slovenian Art U3 ...

Later update: I continue my narcissism here. This photo has been taken just a few hours ago during the mentioned Banshee's birthday party in Fabrka. The party was great by all means and the music was great, too! :)